This is 'cloaking,' an even crueler version of 'ghosting'

Social interactions are changing, getting more complex

First: Not showing up for an in-person date

Step 2: Blocking the person on all communication channels

Social interactions are changing, getting more complex

The ways people interact have changed significantly in recent years. With that, there are some major pros and cons.

Interactions 2.0

With new technologies, tools like smartphones, chats, and popular dating apps, it's never been easier to meet new people to engage in romantic relationships. This should be a big win for the world of dating...

Toxic behaviors still exist

But alongside the positive elements, there are harmful and dangerous aspects that lead to inappropriate and emotionally damaging behaviors. One such behavior is 'cloaking'.

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Harmful individuals

Parallel to the development of new ways of interacting in society, new forms of breaking social codes and hurting people's feelings have also evolved.

Far worse than 'Ghosting'

Coined by journalist Rachel Thompson in 2018, 'cloaking' is a more cruel and extreme version of 'ghosting.' Hopefully it's never happened to you, so here's what it is...

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Ghosting: Disappearing without a trace

Basically, 'ghosting' happens when someone with whom there has been significant interaction (be it via chat, a date, or even intimate relationships) simply stops responding.
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No response

They don’t answer the phone, don’t reply to WhatsApp messages, and don’t interact via social networks. In other words, they vanish like a ghost, hence the term 'ghosting'.

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Two steps beyond 'Ghosting'

'Cloaking' goes two steps further in cruelty, adding two more elements to 'ghosting'."

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First: Not showing up for an in-person date

The first element of 'cloaking' involves standing someone up during an actual real-life date. In fact, Rachel Thompson's article that coined the term 'cloaking' was titled 'My Hinge match invited me to dinner and blocked me as I waited for our table.'

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A personal account

The journalist herself experienced 'cloaking' and described it in an article that was as enlightening as it was distressing.

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Step 2: Blocking the person on all communication channels

As the article title suggests, the second step of 'cloaking' involves, after standing someone up, blocking them on all open communication channels.

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Unjustified disappearance

The goal is clear: to prevent the person who has been stood up from making any further contact. Thus, the blocking happens on social media, phone, email... A unilateral and unjustified cancellation.

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Devastating impact

Of course, someone getting stood up will feel humilitated and angry. This is much worse than if the other party would have cancelled the date beforehand.

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A disturbing sensation

The feeling of being watched, thinking that everyone knows what happened to you, can be highly disturbing.

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Why do it?

Well, for the same reasons bullying has existed since the dawn of time- people enjoying hurting others. Also, it could be a last-minute decision to not show up and then instead of facing the consequences, the cloaker opts to vanish instead.

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A plea for decency

As Rachel Thompson states in her article, cloaking is "horrible and disrespectful. If you've changed your mind about a date, have the decency to tell the other person. It's the right thing to do."

Photo: Unsplash - Ben White